I can’t face it anymore

Monday, October 31, 2011

Dear Lord

 

Good Morning Lord, ok Fine.

Thanks for your blessing, for your grace, for our breakfast and for my work.

Jesus, I just want to say that I can't face it anymore.

I love my job, I love Gni, I love become social workers, but I cannot.

It's too heavy from me, I have problem with my healthy, and I can be crazy sometimes, because I can't go to church every Sunday.

Today, I already talk to staff Ho about our condition and she will tell to Mr Park this afternoon. I wish Mr Park will understand so he can remove me to Cakung CDP or Menteng Sukabumi.

So, it's my Plan

1. Mr Park wisdom and ask me to become staff at Menteng or Cakung.
   
2. Mr Park asks me to go to Surabaya / Meulaboh /Bekasi à I refused.
   
3. Mr Park refused to remove as, so I try to survive until these years. à Looking for another job.
   

   C1. Ask Vera (Fh) to send your recommended letter.
   

   C2. Looking for jobs info in internet.
   

   C3. Asking job info to my friends.
   

   C4. Attend job Fair in Bogor and Jakarta.
   

   
    

4. Back To Medan, Looking for Job in Medan and ahhh,,,I don't Think so.
   
5. Think about Entrepreneurship, and do it.
   
6. Continue College and after graduated join with PNS.
   
7. Become a house wife, yes, Marry. I will hahhahahaha.
   

 

Thanks for everything Lord.

Love You

You're Daughters

Erita Maris Simaringga

About si cacing dan kotoran kesayangannya

Friday, 28 October 2011

Dear Lord

It's about me, mine and me.

Ok my actual condition

• I am going crazy because I can't control my mind. I am always thinking about my job, my responsibility, my surrounding, all of my work and its make me crazy and stress.
  
• Ok, I am serious Lord
  
• Its too heavy for me.
  
• I hate my self
  
• I wanna scream but I cant
  
• Its look so danger, and as usually nobody understand and I always try to make another person happy, try to keep in my heart that I am angry and I don't know again.
  
• Come on lord, I am usually swallowing annoyance.
  
• Its make me crazy.
  
• I wanna scream
  
• I wanna cry
  
• I am full of confused.
  

 

Ok, Jesus

I am just finish read book " si cacing dan kotoran kesayangannya"

It's a really good book, not good but awesome, I already read and he said

^ Your problem is your thinking too much.

• So I make a commitment today: to not thinking too much about my job, my work, my duty, my plan, my surrounding, my friends, and all of the things.
  
• Just think suitable.
  

^ Try to take a silent so that you know that you already talk too much.

• Actually I love this statement.
  
• Is really suitable with my condition, yes I am talking too much, and I try to be calm, and also graceful.
  
• I think it's better to say the good words and also respectful statement.
  

^ Ajan Bramh (The writer)

• Make a laugh if you have an accident, a trouble and also a problem.
  
• If you laugh, its can be decrease your sickness.
  
• He also said, if you are get up, go to your mirror and have a morning smile to yourself, it can make u fell god. According to this statement I remember the Joel Osteen said that talk to your self that " I am going to be happy today .
  

^ The most important time is "NOW"

^ The most important people is "YOU"

But I forgot the last statement J

 

^ He also write " if someone told you are dog, just look in to your back, if you don't have tail, so its ok you are not dog" it's so simple. Hahahhahah

^ If people said you foolish, stupid, ugly, lazy or bad words again, please don't give any comment, because if you give comment, whatever you want to give your reply statement or whatever, it means you are agree with the bad statement. So just don't care.

 

Jesus, I want to have a relationship with you again. I wish it can be happen. As you know lord, I still lost.

Jesus, sometimes I can be sensitive woman, I don't know why. I think I need you lord.

 

Thanks lord

Love you

Help me jesus.

:D

 

Tanggal 13...

Wednesday 13 July 2011

Happy b day to my lovely sista,,kak juli

Aku kesal banget juga hari ini bah. Capek kali batman,,internet loading nya lama sekali,,sampe langsing aku bah,,,

Hiks hiks

Trus badan ku sakit banget,,sampe pegal gara2 kecapean melakukan perjalanan ke desa ciear.

Wadoh, belum lagi air yang ga kunjung kelar, belum lagi pedagang ga ada disini,,hahahhaha

Pokoknya komplit dah semua. Aku harus memasak untuk pekerja sumur ku semoga sumur ini cepat selesai.

Kabel listrik ku mengulah dan aku jd bingung, belum lagi besi lis besi belum kunjung2 dipasang oleh pak atang ,,,urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh benci banget dah sama orang ini,,lamban sangat.

Arghr,,,,,belum lagi aku harus melakukan call berkali – kali ke desa dan itu menghabiskan pulsa ku,,hiks hiks,,menyebalkan ,.,I wanna cry.

Belum lagi urusan admin yang tak seberapa ini,,capek dah. Untunglah ada temen ku yang mengingatkan ku “ jangan lupa makan” hahhaha..

Senangnya :D

Uda dulu ya.

Aku capek ini. Mau makan dulu. Semoga uda masak nasi ku

Hiks hiks

Huft,,village

Thursday, July 7, 2011

This the 4 days I stay in my sweet office and also my sweet home. I try to happy, and to make everything is clear and also to make I fell comfort.

I don’t know how to say, but its awesome. :D

I want to cry, because it’s so isolated village, and there is no water in my home. I am full of confused, really confused because so many task and job that I must do, and until today I’m still alone.

But you know,

I always give so many thanks for God

To :

· My internet connection is running well but it’s very slow because in corner of mountain.

Pertama kali di desa yang terpencil gt,,

Friday 8 July 2011

Ok,

I am Angry now..

Aku marah banget,,beneran deh,,suer…

Aku heran hidup di kampong ini, semua serba mahal dan mereka banyak penipu dan bodoh, dan pemalas.

Aku sampai ingin membunuh mereka saja, kesal banget , banyak yang bodoh juga.

Misalnya nih aku belanja ke alfamart, aku bilang ini pisahkan bonnya, tapi tetep aja digabungin. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Aku kan jd capek buat bon baru lagi untuk bon kantor.

Trus, jaringan atm disini terus menerus rusak padahal aku uda harus naik ojek jauhhhhhhhhhhhh banget plus jalan yang rusak, tapi tetep az, arhhhhhhhhhhhh L

Ini lagi nie, supir ojek yang mengulah, biasanya ongkos hanya 5 rb dia bilang 15 rb,,ga gila itu? Uda mau aku hantam supir itu. Beneraannn…

Ini lagi, semua barang – barang mahalllll dan mereka sangat lamban melayani pedagang.

Ini lagi, air itu sangat susah bangat nyarinya disini,,bayangkan aku harus berak di wc kumuh, apa kata dunia. Aku harus jalan kaki naik turun gunung, dan bermanis – manis dengan orang kampong hanya karena aku belum ada air dirumah.

Kesal dah pokoknya,,ini semua karena Tukang sumur sialan yang di booking sama pak rino. Aku tuh uda cape banget sama semua tingkah orang kampong, beneran dah, gw ga betah. Mau mati az rasanya.

Belum lagi banyak orang sotoy tadi misalnya nih mantan tukang cat gw, pembantu gw, pak rt rw, pembantunya buk lurah, ampe kader politisi yang sok care gitu ke gua. Emang mereka kira geo rang kaya apa? Padahal gw juga uda sekarat, beneran. Sekarat pangkat 2.

Pembantu gua mengulah lagi, uda deh, mulai besok dia ga usa tidur di rumah gw lagi, abis dianya pemalas sih, asek nonton mulu, gw suruh kerja juga ogah – ogahan. Yauda deh daripada gw cape ngurusin ni orang mending gw kerja sendiri. Gw gaji juga tuh orang, kan gw yang capek sendiri. Cape deh. Beneran. Argh…dia masih muda she 17 taon, makanya nalurinya masih begituan ya udah

Pokoknya gua capek bener, pas gw uda mau pergi ke lurah eh dianya malah pergi ga jelas gt, gw mah jadi capek. Malas gw.

Belum lagi sitengkorak yang ada d ho tuh, sebel banget gua, abis dia sok paten gt.

J

Pekerja Social yang Galauuuu

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Dear Lord

Ok fine

I just want to say that I am going crazy.

Aku menjadi gila Lord,,

Hiks hiks

Ini lah sebuah catatan pekerja social yang gila.

Kau dipaksa harus perduli kepada anak – anak pada saat orang tuanya tdk peduli.

Dan ini hanya sebuah hal kecil yang tidak bisa aku acuhkan karena itu membuat ku tidak nyaman.

Ok, itu dimulai ketika mulai dr jam 8 pagi sampai jam 4 sore kita berkutat di desa yang ada di atas gunung untuk banyak urusan dengan masyarakat desa dan seperti biasanya, kita naik ojek,,me and ms T, the road is heavy damaged. We try to enjoy, meskipun nunggu ojek hamper 3 jam, kunjungan untuk mengambil gambar feeding menjadi tdk terlaksana, dan banyak lagi.

Hal ini yang lebih merepotkan, tiba di kantor ada volunteer dan saya tdk tau dia mau apa, saya sudah lelah sekali tetapi tetap saja, pekerjaan framework masih belum kelar, I call mesa and explain, and I said I will send the fw with permit letter soon.

I am full of tired and hungry yeah, I try to cook ubi, jagung and kacang. Its very busy. I complete my framework, try to make permit letter and send my fw via email, and call ms t to sign it, maybe she still sleepy and tired and she check the permit and take angry to me. I am shock ,,I am tired, I am hugry and I am sleepy, I am shock, I go to my bed room, I can fell that I got headache, and I fell heartbroken,.

In my mind “ hallow, come on I try to help you to make permit letter but please don’t angry to me, and than I cant stand I wanna take dinner but its still 6 pm, I membanting pintu kamar with sad, stress, and shock, and angry.

And than ms t told to me “ I wanna take home leave, I will give you all wallets” hah?? I said otherwise cooking the omelet.

Whats going on its fell crazy. She said I am scared when you membanting the door”.

I am silent, I am full and I want to cry but I cant, yeah,,its really hard, I fell burdened.

We have many things to do list, yeah this month will be busy day. I am confused.

I am crazy with my own things, I wanna cry but I cant.

Help me lord.

I messages my best friend hani, is fell good that she said maybe miscommunication.

I hope.

I rest in main room, and suddenly she come and said what happen with you?

I am cancel my home leave, and she said again I am scared your ways to membanting door.

Ok fine,. I am shock again.

Hallow,,what happen?

Are you crazy? Or I am freak?

You just now make me shock, scare, and stress but you can be change.

Oh my god.

I dunno,

I am confused, we talk about anything and you are good again.

Oh jesus Christ,,I am so sorry.

I am regret that I already membanting pintu. Yeah, I remember the statement

“ semua hal yang di awali dari rasa marah akan di akhiri dengan rasa malu “.

Oh my god, help me.

I hope everything gonna be ok lord.

Help me to take care of my heart.

Oh jesus Christ.

I try to survive jesus.

This is already almost 4 Months, help me Lord.

Please help me to be patient Jesus,

:’D

Tell me to be wise Lord, and not be careless.

Love you Lord..

:D