Pekerja Social yang Galauuuu

Thursday, 13 October 2011

Dear Lord

Ok fine

I just want to say that I am going crazy.

Aku menjadi gila Lord,,

Hiks hiks

Ini lah sebuah catatan pekerja social yang gila.

Kau dipaksa harus perduli kepada anak – anak pada saat orang tuanya tdk peduli.

Dan ini hanya sebuah hal kecil yang tidak bisa aku acuhkan karena itu membuat ku tidak nyaman.

Ok, itu dimulai ketika mulai dr jam 8 pagi sampai jam 4 sore kita berkutat di desa yang ada di atas gunung untuk banyak urusan dengan masyarakat desa dan seperti biasanya, kita naik ojek,,me and ms T, the road is heavy damaged. We try to enjoy, meskipun nunggu ojek hamper 3 jam, kunjungan untuk mengambil gambar feeding menjadi tdk terlaksana, dan banyak lagi.

Hal ini yang lebih merepotkan, tiba di kantor ada volunteer dan saya tdk tau dia mau apa, saya sudah lelah sekali tetapi tetap saja, pekerjaan framework masih belum kelar, I call mesa and explain, and I said I will send the fw with permit letter soon.

I am full of tired and hungry yeah, I try to cook ubi, jagung and kacang. Its very busy. I complete my framework, try to make permit letter and send my fw via email, and call ms t to sign it, maybe she still sleepy and tired and she check the permit and take angry to me. I am shock ,,I am tired, I am hugry and I am sleepy, I am shock, I go to my bed room, I can fell that I got headache, and I fell heartbroken,.

In my mind “ hallow, come on I try to help you to make permit letter but please don’t angry to me, and than I cant stand I wanna take dinner but its still 6 pm, I membanting pintu kamar with sad, stress, and shock, and angry.

And than ms t told to me “ I wanna take home leave, I will give you all wallets” hah?? I said otherwise cooking the omelet.

Whats going on its fell crazy. She said I am scared when you membanting the door”.

I am silent, I am full and I want to cry but I cant, yeah,,its really hard, I fell burdened.

We have many things to do list, yeah this month will be busy day. I am confused.

I am crazy with my own things, I wanna cry but I cant.

Help me lord.

I messages my best friend hani, is fell good that she said maybe miscommunication.

I hope.

I rest in main room, and suddenly she come and said what happen with you?

I am cancel my home leave, and she said again I am scared your ways to membanting door.

Ok fine,. I am shock again.

Hallow,,what happen?

Are you crazy? Or I am freak?

You just now make me shock, scare, and stress but you can be change.

Oh my god.

I dunno,

I am confused, we talk about anything and you are good again.

Oh jesus Christ,,I am so sorry.

I am regret that I already membanting pintu. Yeah, I remember the statement

“ semua hal yang di awali dari rasa marah akan di akhiri dengan rasa malu “.

Oh my god, help me.

I hope everything gonna be ok lord.

Help me to take care of my heart.

Oh jesus Christ.

I try to survive jesus.

This is already almost 4 Months, help me Lord.

Please help me to be patient Jesus,

:’D

Tell me to be wise Lord, and not be careless.

Love you Lord..

:D